Day 131

Very interesting. Geneen Roth writes that we can "bolt" from the present moment in many ways, eating when we're not hungry being one of them, and escaping into fantasy being another. I observed this tendency in myself while walking to a restaurant to dine with friends tonight. I was fantasizing about an unrealistic future relationship with someone, when I caught myself and became curious about what was going on in my mind. Turns out, I was feeling lonely and alone. It makes perfect sense that I would want to project myself into a fantasy of fulfillment in my mind. But..... I want to experience my feelings and not escape from them. I want to hold myself in love and acceptance, no matter how uncomfortable or painful of a state I am in. And so, I kept bringing myself back to the glorious present real moment, and I survived.

After our very tasty Vietnamese vegetarian dinner, dessert was ordered. I was tempted to have a taste, but because of this year commitment, I declined. Then my blood sugar dropped on my walk home and I ate a pear to bring it back up. I got dessert after all!