Day 71

I'm in the 70's! Okay, moment of confession. On Thanksgiving I sampled a homemade eggnog and a cranberry concoction that both contained sugar. That was not a problem. What was, was eating reduced fat peanut butter containing sugar and corn syrup a couple nights ago. The past three nights have been all about emotional eating in the middle of the night. Loss, sadness, loneliness, betrayal, nostalgia, change -- big reasons to feel disturbed. Not big reasons to overeat. Tonight I talked to 3 friends for support, ate a satisfying dinner, plan to meditate when I finish this, and have a plan to call one of my friends if I get up and want to eat after I go to bed. And I gave away the peanut butter. I am committed to getting through the night without eating, no matter what. Tea is okay if I need to soothe myself. I'll see you in the morning for a report!

Day 65

A loaf of cheese bread on Saturday and most of a sugar-free pumpkin pie today. I don't have to eat as if the treats will disappear if I don't finish them immediately. I can treat myself any time I want! Is that the lesson here? Life isn't hard with the occasional fun, happy moment thrown in to be devoured before it goes away. Life is what I make it -- fun, happy, lighthearted, joyous all the time if that is what I want filling my consciousness. I guess I will get more opportunities to create joyousness all the time instead of for fleeting moments as the holidays approach. Every sugar-free dessert that I want to eat up represents a chance for me to extend sweet happiness into that moment, and the next, and the next. . .

Day 63

Unbelievable -- at my insulin study appointment I weighed myself and had lost 5 pounds since last month! This motivates me to eat even more carefully and consciously. Extra food in my system weighs me down. Am I afraid of my own magnificence if nothing is standing in the way?

Day 61

I miss writing here every day. Life has gotten busy. Last night I shared a meal of beautiful steamed vegetables. Can a plate look prettier than one containing red beets, green broccoli, orange and purple sweet potatoes, yellow-green avocado, orange carrots, dark green zucchini, and purple eggplant? And most fresh from the Farmer's Market. Toss in a few salted macadamia nuts, and what a feast!

I have to watch my thoughts again about weight. With lots of things happening in my life, including transitions, visitors, work, emotional crises, grief, and increased responsibilities, I am tempted to cushion it all with food. And I may have gained a few pounds. I just looked up the calories in nuts. Egads, I am glad I am facing reality about that! Now I know that a snack of nuts for me has been up to several hundred calories!! I weighed out a normal snack-size portion in my smallest glass bowl so I can start adjusting accordingly. . . .

P.S. 61 days without sugar!!!

Day 57

I knew it. I made the most delicious vegan spaghetti, with sun-dried tomato and basil flavored Tofurky, fresh herbs, and my secret spice ingredient. After eating one extremely satisfying plate of the sauce over whole wheat noodles, I got up for more. This continued through clean up and even a midnight snack. This morning, besides a super high blood sugar, I kept craving that darn spaghetti. So I pulled the Ragu jar, my sauce base, out of the trash and sure enough -- sugar is the 3rd ingredient. Someone else will get to eat the rest of my incredibly flavorful and healthy --except for the sugar -- vegan spaghetti.

Sugar is such an insidious thing. Someone needs to let the world know how it works its way into everything. And so unnecessarily. I think I'm going back to sweet potatoes, boiled or steamed.

Day 55

I need to be hungry when I go grocery shopping. All the Christmas eggnogs, peppermint whipped creams, and candy treats are powerful -- I can taste them! I am surprised that I am still triggered to want to eat them after 55 DAYS! off sugar now.

This afternoon at Walmart I thought I'd try a new sugar-free chocolate with a caramel filling. Well, I ate 6 or 7 pieces when 2 would have sufficed as a treat. I ate them rather compulsively, like I did with sugar. Hmmm . . . there's a lesson here.

One more thing -- is there any reason I needed to come home last night and eat 3 pieces of veggie

pizza just because the box was sitting on the counter? No, no, and no. And my blood sugar climbed way too high during the night. Now I am meeting my brother and sister-in-law at Cheesecake Factory. What an opportunity to relax, enjoy their company, and pay attention to my body's food needs and not-needs.

Day 52

I have to admit that I had a teeny piece of beef jerky last week, the first time I ate meat since my commitment to go vegetarian on June 15th. My decision was entirely about stopping cruelty to animals, and it has been a breeze. Then today while walking the dogs who get this beef jerky treat, I ate another small piece. I had the thought to check the ingredients and guess what -- brown sugar is number two! I am astounded at my nose's ability to sniff out sugar even through a sealed beef jerky bag.